Unspoken Levi x Reader (WARNING FEATURES EXPLICIT SEXUAL ENCOUNTERS!)
by HeichouHatesYou
Summary: Levi and Reader are insanely close friends- will this develop into more? Will Levi work up the courage to tell Reader how he feels? Features HEAVY SEXUAL CONTENT in later chapters. You have been WARNED! Please review. Thanks! )
1. Chapter 1

"Ohshitohshitohshit…." You mumbled to yourself, trying not to start hyperventilating.

The carriage rocked slowly down the cobbled streets, moving at a snail's pace. People were packed tight, desperate to see the festivities. Children rested upon their parent's shoulders and waved wildly. Several people cheered as the carriage turned the corner.

Pulling back the small velvet curtain, you closed your eyes and allowed the sweet spring breeze to dance upon your cheeks. Your scalp tickled, unused to having your hair loose. You kicked off your plain black pumps, flexing your toes in their freedom. You tugged anxiously on the front of your dress, unused to wearing something low-cut. _Ugh, why couldn't I just wear my uniform?_

Your dress was cut low enough to show a little cleavage, the square neckline enhancing your assets. It was empire line, tucked under your bust and flaring out into a beautiful skirt that fell to your ankles, embroidered with silver thread at the bottom. The sleeves came to your elbow, the ends wide and loose, perfect for cooling you down. A small silver chain hugged your waist, shining against the rich green velvet.

"You doing ok?" Hanji trotted up alongside your open window, her horse sweating in the muggy heat. Her cloak was thrown over one shoulder. "Yeah, I'm fine Hanji, I just...wasn't expecting a huge fuss...I wasn't expecting any of…this…" You pointed discreetly at a group of people who were tossing perfumed flower petals into the air. A small boy broke away from the crowd and ran up to the carriage, slipping through the border of Military Police.

"Miss! Miss! Here, I have a present for you!" His chubby hand strained to reach your face as he struggled to keep up with the carriage. Calling for the driver to stop, you leaned out of the window, signalling to the MPs that all was well. "Hi there. Are you ok?"

The little boy's cheeks were flushed red as he nodded determinedly. "I have a present for you, Miss! Come here!" Smiling, you bent down to him as he fastened a tiny posy of yellow and blue flowers in your hair, using a piece of silver thread to keep it in place. Your young suitor took his job seriously, his pink tongue poking from the corner of his mouth. You stifled a grin, noticing he was missing his two front baby teeth.

The beautiful petals now sat just behind your ear, gleaming like a warm sunrise. The thread glittered in the daylight. "Is that ok Miss? It's not very good but I thought you'd like yellow!"  
You opened the carriage door and stepped out, careful not to catch your dress off the steps. Pulling the child to you, you kissed his cheek. "It's beautiful, thank you so very much. It's just what I needed. Thank you for giving me the finishing touch." With an embarrassed giggle, the boy whirled away into the crowd, cheeks burning scarlet. His mother half-waved to you in apology.

"You're going to make him jealous, with all your young admirers, haha!" Hanji's voice pulled you back to reality. Brushing off your bottle-green skirt, you climbed back into the carriage.  
Voices called your name, children ran behind the carriage. Old men bowed their heads and women made signs of good luck.

Despite the breeze coming in through the exposed window, you felt yourself starting to sweat.  
 _O, Walls, what am I doing? I'm no good at this kind of thing…I just want to go back to training. Yeah, show the new recruits a thing or two…See if I can annoy Levi again. How can I handle sparring with a half-naked angry little man but I can't handle…this…._

You suppressed a laugh as you remembered the last combat training session...

You and Levi, one of your best friends, agreed to a rare sparring match in front of the young recruits. This was a treat for the teenagers. They knew Levi had a chequered past and found it hard to get close to others. Many were, frankly, terrified of the cold Captain. Some believed he didn't know what human emotions were, that he had a rock for a heart.

You knew better. He took a long time to warm up to anyone but once he did, he was fiercely loyal. Once he let someone in, that person knew they had a companion for life.

Whispers surrounded you and Levi as cadets learned how he took you under his wing, personally training you, pushing you harder and harder until you were only outmatched by him. He was 30 and yet, never spoke down to you, despite the 6 year difference. He respected you as an equal, both in training and off the field.

Indeed he was as close to you as he was with his squad and Erwin. Your sparring was legendary among the recruits. Even Erwin would sometimes slip away from his infernal paperwork to watch.

With blood streaming from your faces, one of your eyes puffed up and bruised, you and Levi sweated it out, viciously, showing no mercy. This was another reason why you didn't spar often in front of recruits- many couldn't handle how fast and brutal the fights were. There was no time limit, there was no restriction.

The group groaned loudly when Levi grabbed your ponytail and kneed you in the face, bursting your lip. Reflexively your elbow connected with Levi's nose in retaliation, the solid bone in your arm cracking his cartilage. The raw crunching noise caused two recruits to vomit. Flinching, Levi took a step back, collecting himself. Gasping for breath, his shoulders heaving, he flicked his fringe out of his face, his movements causing drops of blood to sail through the air, landing on the dusty ground like ominous little coins.

He smirked at you. "Lucky shot. That's four times you've done my nose now. Clearly it's my least attractive feature." Shaking your hands, staying loose, you smiled widely at him- "Ha, who says ANY part of you is attractive, Short-Arse?"

His eyes flashed with amusement. No one bar Hanji could swap insults with him like you could.

"Hmph! How would you know what my arse looks like? Alright brat, playtime's over." With a loud growl of effort, Levi expertly charged sideways at you, swinging a fist. Instinctively, you raised your hands, swatting his sore nose. Too late, you realised this was what he had intended- distraction. Your hand barely grazed his face as he twisted away and slithered behind you.

Blood poured freely from Levi's broken nose, spattering onto his bare chest. The onyx-haired man lunged and pinned your arms to your side. His toned arms held you tight, squeezing the breath from your lungs. You felt your sweaty back cling to his rock-hard stomach and chest. Your thighs chafed against his as you both battled for ground.

His pale feet threw up clouds of dust as you struggled to get free. "Oi. Your face has looked better. Had enough?" His breath whispered in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. "You wish, Short-Arse!" you gasped, as you made your next deadly move...


	2. Chapter 2

Ducking your head suddenly, you caught him off-guard. Sweeping your leg backwards, you hooked it around his ankle and flipped him. He landed on his back hard, his head hitting the ground with a dull thump. "FUCK! You're in for it now, bitch!" You could hear the laughter in his voice as he rolled to one side, avoiding your foot slamming into his stomach. Years of training and living together had attuned you to his vocal moods. To the cadets, he just sounded like he was going to rain death upon you.

Someone mumbled "O Walls, he's going to fucking kill her…"

You continued trading blows and kicks for the best part of an hour, each too stubborn to give in. Your movements were deliberate and graceful. Both of your bodies had danced this dance countless times before, though rarely in front of others. Eventually you pinned him to the ground, both of you panting, struggling for breath.

You leaned in to his flushed face, holding his arms above his head. His hair clung in damp clumps to his forehead. A bead of sweat trickled down your neck into the crease of your bust. You silently thanked the Walls you had changed into your workout crop top and shorts in the oppressive heat.  
Your bare knees were clamped tight to his hips in a vice-like grip.

"So, Shorty, give up?" He was breathing heavily, his entire torso drenched and slippery, the shine of the liquid accentuating his carved muscles. The fine line of dark hair beneath his navel glistened as sweat soaked the band of his shorts. He grinned as he spat out- "Tch. I can go a LOT longer than this!" His eyes flashed as you picked up on his filthy sense of humour.

Laughing, you pulled back a hand and balled it into a fist. "O Levi, you're no good with a woman on top!"

"What woman? I see only a fucking irritation!" Leaning forward, you took careful aim at his mouth, intending to shut him up and put an end to the match.

But before you could land the blow- "KISS HER, SIR! KISS HER, CAPTAIN!" A deathly silence fell across the recruits. You slowly uncurled your fist, allowing your arm to drop to your side. You released Levi's arms as you sighed. Stray hairs hung loose from your now messy ponytail, fluttering in your exasperated breath. Levi struggled to half-prop himself up, your weight on his groin preventing him from moving further.

Exchanging a knowing look, you both slowly turned your heads to face the recruits. You gave the horrified group your best death-glare, two pairs of eyes squinting in disgust. Rolling off Levi, you gripped his wrist and yanked him up. Your skin was coated in dust. "Dammit…" You began patting yourself down, straining to reach the dirt between your shoulders. You nearly twisted yourself into a knot trying to rub off the tiny grains from your back.

"Tch, come here, baka." The Captain began to brush the dust from your back, careful not to pat too low down in front of the others. His hands tickled as he helped sweep the dust from your shoulders, down your back, down to your hips, his fingers gently cleansing your skin. "Thanks Levi." "Hmph."

Your black crop top and shorts were filthy. You knew Levi was gagging for a shower. He hated filth. Grit clung to his body, the cooling sweat acting as a natural glue. The crowd of teenagers grew more and more afraid as you continued going about your business, without speaking a word to them.

 _Good. Let them wait. Let them worry._ you thought.

Nodding slightly, you motioned for Levi to start. Puffing out his muscular chest, Levi faced the class and barked. "Now- who the FUCK said that? Who was the little shit that thinks this is a game?" The terrified teens were shaking, scared shitless, yet unwilling to betray their classmate.  
Folding his arms, Levi jerked his head towards you.

Resting your hands on your hips, you addressed them.

"This is not a game, guys. There is nothing wrong with letting off a little steam, but do NOT take this lightly. The Captain and I have trained together for years. We know each other's movements. We ourselves are still constantly learning new techniques.

If we wanted to, we can move our bodies together, as one- STOP LAUGHING! I know you lot are hormonal but cop on! This isn't some gossipy flame, or fantasy come to life! THIS IS SURVIVAL!"

Levi spat on the ground, the damp patch was tinged with pink.

"Look brats, we only agreed to demonstrate this to show you two things. One. If someone can predict your movements, it can be a .MATCH. Exhaustion is just as dangerous as a knife in this situation. I have no shame in admitting I am extremely fucking tired right now. She's that good. None of you can even come close to our level, yet that is the level you MUST aim for. Push yourselves.

Which brings me to the second point- Trust.

Trust is a huge issue. I trust her. She trusts me. We have each caused each other horrible injuries. I have split her lip before, broken her wrist. She has broken my nose three, no, _four_ times now and nearly castrated me before.

But we KNOW OUR LIMITS. So next time _romance_ crosses your mind, remember- if you have time to think about shit like that, you have time to think of your next point to strike. Sparring with a companion is different to sparring with someone who wants to kill you. That's why we go as far as we can. Because if you can fight a friend without holding back, you're already a step ahead of your opponent."

Draping an arm over Levi's sticky shoulder, you tried to lighten the mood. "Look, it's better to risk a broken arm in training than die against an enemy in the field. Besides guys, with a face like mine, you think anyone would wanna kiss me right now?! Especially Levi here, whom, as we all know, has a slight issue with things being clean. Me? I don't care how grubby I get once I get my job done."

Levi shot you a filthy look before jerking away from you with an irritated grunt. "Alright you little shits. Hope you learned something from today. Now fuck off out of my sight."

Standing side by side, you and Levi bumped right shoulders hard, your way of thanking each other for a great session. As the class walked away, Levi grabbed a towel from the ground (not before shaking it off thoroughly) and nodding at you, headed back to the barracks. His voice called back to you. "Oi. Do something about that horrendous face of yours. I'm grabbing a shower." Lifting a hand in farewell, you laughed. "Those showers are pretty large Levi. Try not to drown. Short-Arse." His chuckle was carried to you on the breeze.

Spitting out a mouthful of copper-tasting blood, you followed the class- just in time to hear a long-faced boy called Kirschtein remark- "Um…Did anyone else see the Captain freakin SMILE?! What the FUCK was that about?"

A hulking blonde boy _Reiner, his name is Reiner_ you reminded yourself, clapped a hand on Kirschtein's shoulder, nearly buckling him. "Kinda hot though! Crazy chick beating up Captain Levi? Some people pay good money for that experience! Lucky! Did you see his face when she pinning him down? Holy shit, I'd give anything to have her do that to me."

A freckled dark-haired youth turned to Kirschtein- "The Captain was amazing though…" The horse-faced teen grabbed Freckles' arm- "HEY! Should I be jealous, Marco?" Marco smiled and slipped an arm around Kirschtein's waist. "Nope. You're stuck with me forever, Jean."

Reiner laughed- "You guys are like two schoolgirls, it's adorable. Take your time getting back, I'll give you some space." Reiner strolled ahead, increasing the distance between himself and the young couple. They fell behind the group, arms linked, enjoying each other's company in silence- until- "I wonder if she and the Captain ARE a thing? O shit, imagine the psycho kids they'd have!"

"O WALLS, JEAN, SHUSH! You wanna piss off BOTH of them?!"

Chuckling to yourself, you ambled back to base behind the boys, longing for a shower, enjoying the pleasant aching that had settled in your battered body. _Kids will think what they wanna think. O well. Let them have their fun._


	3. Chapter 3

Voices echoed along the dark corridor as you strolled towards the mess-hall. Your hair was tied up into a messy bun to prevent the damp tendrils from clinging to your neck. Your lip was badly swollen and red. You tasted that coppery saltiness when you touched your tongue to the gash that split through the middle.

Nudging the door open, you plonked yourself down between Hanji and Mike, nodding towards the other table where Erwin and Levi were studying some sort of map. You could't help but notice the strip of tape that was stuck to the bridge of the Captain's nose, easing the swelling.

"Hey you, you did a number on him this time. What did he do to annoy you so much?" Hanji threw an arm around you, her glasses reflecting the dancing candlelight.

"Nothing, just busted my lip, see? Grumpy midget" Pooching out your sore lip, you smirked as Levi jerked his head up when he heard the word "midget".

"Tch. Maybe if your fat ass wasn't so slow, you could have moved before I got you." His eyes glinted. Erwin smiled a tiny smile as he gently redirected Levi's attention to the map before the two of you got stuck into one of your insult-matches.

"Anyway, did the cadets give you any trouble?" Hanji turned your head away from the two men and back to her. "Nah, just the usual jokes about me and Short-Arse being a thing. Hey did you know that Kirschtein and Bodt are a couple? It's so sweet."

"I had an idea. It worries me. Part of me thinks they should just focus on surviving. But if you can't love somebody, then how can you survive?" You stared at Hanji in shock. "Hanji, you ok? It's not like you to be so philosophical. I get where you're coming from though."

Mike sniffed softly, his eyes focused on you as you continued. "I agree, it's hard to think people could fall in love with so much going on. But they're young. Every single one of them knows they could die tomorrow. So why not make the most of now? I'm not just talking about physical intimacy either, more the fact that you know someone cares for you more than as a colleague or a friend."

Mike mumbled something. "You seem quite open about this. Something we should know?" A wry grin played around his mouth. Chuckling, you poured yourself a glass of water from the earthenware jug. Erwin and Levi were sitting back, clearly paying attention. "Me? In fairness, I doubt anyone could feel like that about me. I'm too blunt, too loud, I belch like a boy, I'm not ladylike in any way. I'm not pretty like Krista, I'm not cute like that Mina kid, hell, I'm not even quirky like that walking stomach, Braus."

Drinking deeply, you looked over the edge of your glass to see Hanji and Mike laughing softly. Hanji poured herself a drink too, tapping her glass against yours with a tinkle. "Jeez, don't hold back. The big question is, would you want to know? Actually, would anyone want to know?" You pondered this a moment while running your finger along your glass, collecting the stray condensation.

"Yeah. I would want to know. I think it'd be something that would give me the strength to keep fighting. I don't think someone is going to declare undying devotion to me in the middle of a mission though!"

"You idiots." Levi's icy voice cut through the warm atmosphere. He sat forward, his face cast in shadow. "Levi?" Erwin looked at him, concern etched across his statuesque face. He frowned in confusion as he glanced at you. "What's wrong?" The handsome blonde lightly shook Levi's shoulder.

Shrugging it off, Levi continued.

"You have all clearly forgotten why we're here. We're here to survive. Not giggle like shitty schoolkids about love. Tch! Love! When did love ever take down a Titan, when did love ever actually help someone? You know better than anyone what I think of love!" He stared right at you as he spat his words out.

With a jolt you remembered his weakness, the day he shared his past with you. How his mother died. His cruel Uncle Kenny took him in, training the young child to be as cold and ruthless as him, before leaving him to fend for himself.

Little Levi was abandoned by everyone. When he finally found love and friendship in the form of Farlan Church and Isabel Magnolia, it ended in heartbreak. He had told you straight, been completely honest.

 _"_ _I cannot believe in love, nor would I want to. It doesn't exist for me."_

Hit with the rush of memories, you and Levi stared at each other in silence, ignoring those around you. Leaving your seat, you slowly walked over to him, never breaking his gaze. Squeezing his shoulder firmly, you bent down to him and whispered. "I'm sorry. Don't be mad. Ok?"

He closed his eyes briefly, before placing his hand upon yours. You could feel him trembling. "Levi, maybe it's time to go to bed." You suggested. He opened his eyes, shining with a silver gleam. "Hmph. I was going anyway, idiot." His vulnerable moment gone, Levi shook his head and, gabbing his paperwork, swept from the room in a storm of anger.

Sighing deeply, Erwin patted your back. "Leave him. I'm not sure what's going on with him but I'm sure he'll come to you if he needs to. Don't let it worry you, alright?" "Yes Sir, I just hope he's ok."

Erwin heaved himself from the chair, groaning under his breath as he rubbed the small of his back. "Commander? Feeling old?" He smiled widely. "Very funny. I'm going to finish this in my office, it'll be quieter there."

As he stepped out of the room, Mike nodded at you and Hanji before leaving.

Hanji puffed out a sigh as she studied you. "What the hell was that? With Levi? Is there something going on?"  
"HA! No, god no, in fairness, even if there was something there, how would I know? I care for him dearly but he's so hard to read. Most men are hard to understand anyway, but he really has no ability to say how he feels. It…worries me sometimes. How will he ever survive once we finish off the Titans? He's the perfect soldier, but he's not a great man for expressing himself."

"Yeah but surely if he had something to say to you, he'd say it, right? He trusts you and obviously cares for you. Anyone can see that. It's great he has someone who he can talk to."

"The problem is, Hanji, that I'm worried he WON'T tell me what's going on, how he feels. He means so much to me and yet he's still impossible to open up. Only once did he ever talk to me properly about his feelings. And please don't ask me, because it's not my place to tell you his story. If he wants you to know he'll say, and don't take that the wrong way either."

Hanji rolled the cool glass against her forehead in frustration. "I wouldn't expect you to betray his trust. I just wish he knew he can talk to us. Or more specifically, you. Maybe he should keep a diary."

You snorted, splashing water across the table. Coughing wetly as Hanji thumped your back, you spluttered and wheezed. "A fucking DIARY? You think Levi is going to keep a diary and let me read it? I highly fucking doubt that!"

Talk soon turned to the next excursion and as the clock chimed midnight, you and Hanji gathered up the glasses and made your way towards your quarters.

Hanji happily nattered on about experimenting on Levi's emotional status, while you tried to contain her excitement.

Neither of you noticed the Captain sitting cross-legged in the shadows. Dressed only in his nightwear of baggy black trousers and a soft white cotton shirt, the young man balled his hands into fists, digging his nails into the soft flesh of his palms.

His bare feet were frozen, the result of having sat there for over an hour, listening to you and Hanji. With a heavy heart, he slowly rose up, his joints screaming in protest. His pale feet padded almost silently to your door, passing an ancient grandfather clock with a magnificent glass face.

Resting his forehead against the worn wood of your door, he closed his eyes, imagining he could hear you breathing, hear the air entering and leaving your chest.

Levi lifted his hand to knock. He pictured it, knocking on your door, you appearing there, sleepy and messy-haired, soft and vulnerable, unable to say anything as his lips covered yours. He would pour all his feelings into that one kiss, tell you without words how he felt about you.

He struggled with himself. _Do it. Knock. DO IT!_

He let his hand hover in the air for several minutes before miserably letting it fall to hang uselessly at his side.

As he turned to leave, he caught sight of his reflection in the clock. Pale, thin, heavy-lidded, and- "Dead eyes. I have dead eyes." He whispered to himself.

He thumped the stone wall in despair, the only sound a dull muted smack. Holding his grazed knuckles, he looked at his reflection again in fury.

"Coward. Fucking coward!"

Running his sore hand through his hair, he walked heavily back to his own quarters.

As he walked away from your room, away from you, he felt that each step was heavier than the last…


	4. Chapter 4

Levi nervously approached the Mess-Hall the next morning. The shade beneath his eyes seemed to grow the closer he got to the wooden doors. As he made his way to the veteran's table, Erwin managed to catch his attention.

"Levi. I have some important business to attend to in the Capital. Please ensure that the new recruits complete their tasks and if possible, demonstrate how to properly clean their 3DMG. I should be back by tomorrow afternoon."

Levi nodded, his eyes looking beside Erwin at you, laughing at Hanji's psychotic arm flailing as she excitedly described some new experiment she wanted to try on Bean. Erwin, seeing that the Captain wasn't paying attention, turned around to see where the raven-haired man was staring.

"LEVI! Are you listening?"

Erwin's voice cut through Levi's daydream, booming across the table. You looked up to find the two men apparently staring at you. "Uh…Erwin? Why are you shouting? It's too early!" Levi ignored Erwin and in a shocking act of insubordination, tried to brush past his Superior Officer without even acknowledging his order.

Erwin frowned at Levi, physically standing in front of you. "Levi. Attend to your duties. Stop daydreaming. That is an order."

The final word broke the spell, Levi jerked his head up and looked at Erwin. A faint blush of shame blossomed upon his face. "My…apologies...Sir. Something caught my eye. I will attend to the recruits at once."

Seeing Levi was about to leave, you stood to say goodbye. As you pushed your seat back, the small man's eyes widened and he rushed away, boots stepping sharply on the cold stone floor.

Tears quickly filled your eyes. You rubbed at them, mortified that you should feel upset. You were considered one of the guys, one of the tough ones. Weren't you known to be nearly as strong as Levi himself? A hand rubbed your shoulder- "Hey what's wrong? Are you ok?" Hanji's hair tickled as she wrapped her arms around you, squeezing comfort into you.

"I don't know what's wrong with him? He's acting fucking weird and I hate it, I hate how cold he's being and I'm starting to hate him! He cannot think he can treat people this way and still have them care about him, sad background or not!" Tears trailed down your cheeks. An anxious Erwin handed you a handkerchief to dry your cheeks. "Thanks Erwin. I apologise for my outburst."

The blonde man smiled at you, patted your arm lightly. "Don't worry. It's alright. We all have to have an outburst sometimes. Hanji maybe you should speak to Levi? I would, but as you know I have urgent matters to attend to." Hanji nodded.

"Of course Erwin. I'll find out what's bugging him." Nudging you, she continued. "In the meantime, I think you should get ready, remember, you have your quarterly meeting with the Military Police, remember."

Standing up, you went to follow Erwin out of the hall, when Hanji pulled you back. "I'll speak to Grumpy, see what's bugging him. Have fun ok?" With a wink, she practically kicked you out of the room.

Your breathing calmed down as you shut your bedroom door. Flopping onto your bed, you allowed a tiny smile to break upon your face. "Have fun? Jesus Hanji, hold it together." The sounds of the Commander's horse thudding across the ground soothed you. Such a steady rhythm, like a heartbeat.

Thuddump-thuddump-thuddump, fading into the distance. "Better get my stuff ready." Groaning at the thought of this horrendously long boring meeting about recruitment quotas and the usual arguments over jurisdiction, you heaved yourself up. "Ah well, it's gotta be done. Maybe Short-Arse will be in a better mood when I return."

Levi watched from his bedroom window as, a short while later, you climbed onto Calliope, your chestnut mare. Turning around, you fixed a large pack that was secured behind you. It caught Levi's eye, before your horse shimmied so her hindquarters were out of his line of sight.

He knew you loved to ride, loved letting the wind catch your hair, the smell of the horse's sweat, the special sound of the hooves drumming across the ground. He watched as you leaned forward, kissing Calliope between her ears, before laughing loudly and setting off at a gallop. He heard your voice on the wind- "Wohooooooo, come on girl!"

His voice was a whisper as he spoke to himself- "Why did she have a backpack with her? Her duties are with the MP, why would she bring a pack?"

Biting his lip, he frowned, deep in thought before burying his head into his hands. "Why didn't I say goodbye? I'm such a shit. I treat her like shit."

Suddenly a thought struck him, so powerful he physically gasped. "I've got it. No more bullshit. When she comes back…."

Showing rare excitement, Levi grabbed a pencil and a sheet of paper. He closed his eyes, gathered his thoughts…and let his pencil do the talking….


	5. Chapter 5

Returning to the barracks, you sighed gratefully as you slid off your horse, the saddle rubbed your thighs into stiffness. Several hours ride to the Capital and back, as well as two days sitting on horribly uncomfortable chairs was excruciating.

You much preferred being stiff on horseback than having to sit through ANOTHER terrifying dull MP meeting. Being stuck in a room for hours with Nile Dawk was enough to drive anyone crazy. Still, at least it was over for another few months. "Ahhhhh, it's good to be back."

You mumbled as you stretched this way and that. Erwin pulled up beside you, one eyebrow raised and an amused look on his face as you bent forward, massaging the back of your calves.

"Are you prepared for our meeting tonight? Are you nervous about it? I'm a little sceptical myself of how the recruits will respond." he said. Now that Erwin had completed his important business in the City, it was time to break the news of his plan to the new recruits, the veterans and everybody in the barracks.

Straightening up, you sighed in relaxation. "I'm prepared for it, I think. I don't know how everyone will react to it either. It's risky, some might say foolish but all we can do is present it to them and see how they feel. It's probably just as well that Hanji knows though, makes it a bit easier if anyone has any concerns or questions."

Nodding, the Commander steered his horse to the stables and, lifting a hand in farewell, made his way towards his quarters.

Smiling broadly, you unsaddled Calliope and removed your pack, sensing the animal's ease at having the heavy load removed. "Good girl, you did well."

Pressing your face to her sleek belly, you hummed in happiness, breathing in that good natural earthy smell of horse and straw. You were so immersed in your thoughts that Levi's footsteps were lost on you. He smiled, unwillingly yet naturally, he was so happy to see you return safely.

The ride had reddened your cheeks and tossed your hair out of shape. You smelled of sweat and your clothes were dusty- but to Levi, you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He moved to touch you before realising you would probably react badly considering how things were left with you two. _Sneaking up behind her is NOT to how patch things up_ he realised.

Melting back into the shadows, he leaned against a beam, aware of the faint rustling of paper in his pocket. He was content to watch you doing absolutely nothing, listening to you murmuring bits of conversation, snippets of songs, and oddly, recipes, to your beloved mare.

"- and then you fry the bacon, onions and egg together, then mix it in with the rice and lots of garlic. Not many people will want to kiss you after that but hey, it tastes so gooood!"

Kissing Cal's velvety nose, you glanced around before unstrapping your harnesses and unbuttoning your shirt. The heat of the stable made your undershirt cling to you. "Ugh, it's time for a cold shower Cal." Levi gulped, silently thanking the Walls that you couldn't see him as he let his gaze linger on your glistening bust.

You exclaimed in frustration as your pack flap popped open, scattering your belongings. Levi smirked in wry amusement as he watched you collect your clothing. _Clumsy as ever…_ A tiny scrap of black lace intrigued him.

 _Those look like…wait…THEY'RE NOT STANDARD ISSUE!_ The mortified man backed away in a panic, both thrilled and horrified to know you secretly wore skimpy non-issue underwear.

Knowing how bad this would look, he waited until you had collected yourself and patted Cal. Only when he saw you heading towards your quarters did he allow himself to relax. He was nearly home scot-free when- "LEVI! Were you SPYING on her?!" He swung around to find Hanji glaring at him. He reciprocated the icy stare. "Tch. No I wasn't, none of your business anyway Shitty-Glasses."

The bespectacled scientist strode towards him, fury in her eyes.

"You have tormented her long enough. It's time for you to make a decision- either you are her friend or not. But this constant schizophrenic behaviour has got to stop. You are making her miserable, not because of how you treat her, but because she sees that YOU are unhappy! She is worried about YOU! If you care about her at all, you would try to make her happy!"

The stoic Captain stayed silent, trying to ignore her words. The thought of upsetting you hurt him more than he could bear- his lower lip trembled slightly and his eyes blinked rapidly, dispelling any tell-tale signs of pain.

Hanji's fury left her the instant he opened his mouth.

"I know…I do not want to hurt her. I care about her. She IS my friend. I want to speak to her and…clear the air."

He coughed in embarrassment before ashamedly continuing. "Hanji…Can you help me do that?

I just want her to be happy again. I'm not good with his kind of shit. I don't really DO friendships and I…I'm worried I've fucked up. So please. Help me."

Hanji blinked hard, not quite believing what she was seeing or hearing.

"Uh…yeah. Sure. It'd be nice if you two were back on proper terms. She cares about you more than you know. The fact you're acting off with her is upsetting for us all, you two were literally inseparable.  
You're like a big brother to her you know. I'll help patch things up ok. It'll have to wait until after this meeting though, it's very important."

Levi nodded, one hand toying with the envelope hidden away in his back pocket.

"Alright, after the meeting. I promise you, Hanji, she and I will be fine after we talk." The bell rang loudly, making the two veterans both jump. Grinning, Hanji dragged Levi into the castle- "Come on, you're not gonna want to miss this!"

Hanji left him at the side of the Hall with some of the other older soldiers, while she hurried up to the High Table where Erwin, Commander Pyxis and Mike sat.

You had your place beside an empty seat which Hanji slid into, nudging you with her elbow and nodding towards Levi, who nodded and smiled at you. You smiled back, delighted that he seemed to be losing his iciness of the last few days.

"What did you say to him, Hanji? He's actually smiling." you whispered. Hanji grinned widely. "Nothing. He wants to chat with you after. I think things are ok now. You got your bro back! Now hush, I can't wait to see everyone's reaction to this!"

The nutty scientist cackled and wriggled with anticipation, her excitement barely contained.

Silence fell across the chattering recruits as the respected Commander Pyxis held a hand up for attention. Every eye was trained upon his smiling face.

"My brave soldiers- There is a very good reason why we have summoned you all here this evening. It is of utmost importance…"


	6. Chapter 6

The young recruits waited in anticipation, their young faces a combination of curiosity, confusion, and, on some faces, a glimmer of hope. You looked down the table, glancing at Erwin who was waiting for his cue from Pyxis. Pyxis, sensing your eyes upon him, smiled, deepening the laughter lines on his face. Coughing quietly, he motioned for Erwin to rise from his seat.

The Commander did so, his piercing azure gaze sweeping across the room. Levi inclined his head slightly, acknowledging his superior. Levi fidgeted with the paper in his pocket, trying not to let his irritation show.

 _Hurry up. Whatever this plan may be, I have plans of my own to complete._ He felt nervous and excited. _Do I just hand this to her? Do I make her open it in front of me?_

Erwin stood, determination etched upon his face, his hands folded neatly behind his back. You couldn't help but notice his fingers twitching slightly, nervously as he began to speak.

"Comrades. I have spent the last few days in the Capital pursuing a matter that is very important. Not just to me, but to all of you. I have spent the last 6 months in total putting this plan into place.

Some of you might feel it is foolish. The past few days I spent finalising this course of action have made me see how things can be for you all.

This motion will affect everybody. If you have any concerns or queries, please, do not hesitate to ask. Things may change. However, I am always at Humanity's service. For the glory of mankind, for the hope of our future and the future of the children you may one day have."

With that, the broad man stepped back, allowing Pyxis to take over. Quiet mumbling echoed around the room as the recruits pondered what was happening. Levi turned to the side, eyes frowning in confusion.

 _Goddammit Erwin, I should have been informed if it was as serious as this!_

Moblit appeared beside him. "Sir? Do you know what's going on?" Levi shot him a look of frustration- "Tch. No. I don't know what the fuck they're playing at. Guess we'll just have to wait and see. I have something important to do so I wish they'd hurry the fuck up."

Turning his back on Moblit, Levi fixed his eyes on you. _Look at me. Look at me. Please look at me._ You felt the intensity of his stare and smiled at him, happy that he seemed to be back to his old self. Seeing you smile was enough to make Levi's breath catch in his throat as his heart leapt. He cleared his throat in embarrassment, feeling his cheeks growing warm. Remembering where he was, he mentally scolded himself for not paying attention.

Pyxis clapped a hand upon Erwin's shoulder and his warm voice filled the hall. "Erwin Smith. Your esteemed Commander. Loyal. Brave. He has led the Survey Corps further than any Commander before. He is responsible for creating the training regime you all participated in.

This man you see before you has helped more than one of you, individually, personally. We have all sacrificed much for the advancement of mankind- none more so than he." Inhaling deeply, Pyxis winked at the young soldiers. "You are all young and yet have experienced much of the evils in the world. In times like this, it is easy to lose yourself. Lose yourself to training, to a life of service. Be under no illusion- death lurks around every corner. It is easy to forget that there are good things in life.

I see friendship. I hear laughter. I see love."

Marco and Jean silently took each other's hands under the table. Jean planted a quick kiss on Marco's cheek.

The eagle-eyed Pyxis spotted this and smiled at the two young men. He continued, nodding at them- "Yes. I see love. It is important to remember the good in times of death and fear. And so, I will step down and allow my good friend to conclude."

Erwin stood again, his face slightly pink as he turned towards Hanji. "We are soldiers- but we are also human beings. I have no shame in admitting to you all that I am in love."

Levi jerked up straight in shock, behind him, Moblit gasped- "Erwin and _Hanji_?"

The Hall exploded into a series of whistling and whooping. Erwin walked down the table, PAST Hanji- stopping in front of you. The whooping stopped dead.

Taking your hand, he gently raised you up from your seat. Your face burned as you stood hand in hand with the man you loved.

His eyes shone with joy as he spoke.

"No matter how dark the world is, love still shines bright. This incredible woman has not only returned my love- she has done me the utmost honour of agreeing to be my wife. An honour I am not worthy of. But it needs to be official."

Kneeling before you, your face flushing scarlet, Erwin stared into your eyes, into your soul.

"I love you. I may be lost tomorrow, next week or next year- will you accept me for as long as we shall live?"

Levi swayed, leaning heavily against the stone wall as everyone began clapping.

He felt cold, as if every cell in his body had been drenched in ice-water. The painful chill sank into him, settling into his bones. His breathing hitched in his chest as he felt the floor spinning.

The applause seemed to fade as if he was underwater, his head felt light and dizzy.

 _I…I can't breathe…Is this…a panic attack…_

Gasping, he tried to mask his horror by covering his mouth. His mind cruelly echoed a message inside his head- _Too late...you were too late…_

His chest hurt, like someone had torn his flesh open and gripped his heart. Hating himself for doing so, he selfishly tried to influence you- _Say no… say no to him…_

One hand shakily clenched a crumpled envelope in desperation. _It…HURTS…o god, it hurts…_

Cold sweat coated his skin as he kept his eyes closed. Tears cannot escape if they have nowhere to go.

You threw yourself upon Erwin, reaching up to tangle your hands in his blonde locks as you kissed him your answer in front of the applauding recruits, some of which were clearly confused and surprised, but nonetheless delighted.

Propriety flew out the window as Erwin cupped your face, one hand trailing down the side of your neck.

Eventually Pyxis cleared his throat and you broke apart, slightly breathless, but overjoyed. "Love can overcome anything. These two know the risks, know that there may be a day where one of them may never come home- true love is treasuring every moment you have together. From today, they will be sharing quarters."

Tapping his nose, Pyxis winked- "Not that you both haven't shared quarters without permission before!"

Hearing this, Levi felt hot sour bile rising in his throat. _His hands...on her...no, stop, I don't want to think about it..._ His mind conjured up images of you and Erwin, falling onto a bed together, Erwin's hands caressing you, exploring you, making you quiver with pleasure.

Dropping his redundant envelope, Levi raised his hands to his head, trying to shake away the thought of you, hair loose, wild and free, eyes dark with desire, gasping Erwin's name...begging Erwin for more, making love with Erwin...Erwin. Erwin! ERWIN! _It was never me...it was always ERWIN!_

A roar of laughter erupted as the recruits were dismissed. The soldiers chattered at this revelation- "I was sure she was with Levi! All that sexual tension?"

"To think it was always Erwin! How perfect though! Imagine the babies she and the Commander would have!"

Reiner remarked with remorse- "She was going to be mine…" Annie elbowed him hard while Connie wondered out loud what difference it made if you and Erwin now had shared quarters.

Shaking his head in disbelief, Reiner's laughter boomed above the voices as he tried to explain to the dense Connie what adults did in private.

In your happiness, you searched for Levi. Unable to spot him in the crowd, you asked Hanji would she mind finding him. "I have to move my stuff into Erwin's quarters." "Yeah and christen the place officially too I bet! Funny how Levi rushed off, I thought he'd stay to congratulate you. Maybe he wants to wait til he chats with you."

Erwin whispered into your ear, causing you to giggle and blood to flood to your face. How delicious, how thrilling to know that no-one else had any idea just how dirty your proper, stoic Commander could be.

Unobtrusively sliding his arm around your waist, Erwin steered you to his quarters. Judging from his expression and the lust in his eyes, he already had plans for you. Hanji cackled- "I guess packing your stuff will have to wait til later so!"

As Hanji left the Hall, Moblit approached her with a grubby piece of paper.

It had clearly been stood on by the stampede of people. "Squad Leader- This was on the floor." Opening the blank envelope, Hanji frowned, then gasped. "Wait…O…no… Moblit… who...was standing in front of you? There's no signature here..."

"It was the Captain. He looked ill near the end of the meeting though." He called as he left. Raising a hand to her mouth in despair, Hanji gazed at the letter, her mind swirling. "O Levi...poor Levi... I didn't know..."

Rubbing her eyes behind her glasses, she sighed before setting out to find the broken man…

Hope you enjoyed the new chapter- just a fair warning that **Chapter 7 will feature** **SMUT/SEX/INTIMACY** , whatever you wanna call it, so fair warning!


	7. Chapter 7

In his bathroom, Levi vomited again, tears streaming down his face as his stomach heaved. Having emptied itself of his lunchtime stew, his stomach tightened and rolled. He gripped the toilet bowl as he unwillingly voided up thick sour bile.

He had nothing left in his system to throw up, yet grief kept him retching again and again. Eventually his wet sounds of distress quietened down, and he slumped gasping beside the toilet. His heart pounded and sweat prickled on his skin.

Sighing in mild relief, he lowered his face into his palms, feeling the sickly heat radiating from his cheeks.

 _Jesus Christ…What do I do…I've lost her…_ Swiping his fist across his face, he pressed his forehead against the cool tiled wall. He rested peacefully there for several minutes. His head jerked up sharply as adrenaline filled his body.

"No! She hasn't married him yet! I can at least tell her how I feel. I can still give her my letter." Patting his pocket, he realised he had mislaid it. "Shit! At least it wasn't signed. If anyone finds it they'll think it belongs to one of the brats."

Standing up, his blood was thrashing furiously in his veins as his brow furrowed in determination. "I'll go to her quarters and talk one on one." _If she…DOES…choose him in the end, at least I will not regret remaining quiet. I will give her my heart!_

Levi rose like a vengeful spirit, beautiful and proud. Sweeping his fringe back, he rinsed his mouth out and, inhaling deeply, marched purposefully to your room, stopping in front of the wooden door he had spent so many nights staring at, lacking the courage to knock. iNO MORE!/i

He rapped sharply- no response. _Shit, is she still in the Hall?_

Biting his lip, he decided to wait for you inside. Cautiously pushing your door in, he was mildly horrified at the state of the place. Clothes were scattered everywhere, paperwork was messily strewn across your desk.

He sat tentatively on the edge of your bed, hoping it wouldn't give you the wrong impression. Clearing his throat, he practised how he would initiate the conversation, stumbling and stopping himself in frustration.

Time wore on and nearly an hour passed by. Levi sat in silence now, his earlier confidence rapidly fading. His bladder clenched in nervousness. _God I need to piss…_ Glancing at your en suite bathroom, he gave in, the need to relieve himself greater than anything. He wandered into your bathroom, not bothering to properly close the door, merely closing it over.

After relieving himself, he took a few minutes to fix himself up, tidying his messy fringe. He stiffened as he heard the bedroom door opening and footsteps entering. _Shitshitshit, here she is, shitshitSHIT!_

Levi tried to slow his breathing as he reached for the door handle. He stopped dead when he heard you talking to someone. _Hanji?_ he wondered- and felt his skin crawl when Erwin's deep voice responded to you.

Hearing you giggle because of him caused a wave of fury to shiver through Levi's body. Peeping through the crack in the door he clenched his fists in anger as the two of you removed your boots, sighing in relief together, laughing together.

You and Erwin were starting to pack up your belongings, folding them neatly into one of the many wooden crates that were stacked in a corner. Erwin picked up a black bra, one eyebrow raised in amusement as you snatched it away from him. "Oi you, behave. Plenty of time for that AFTER I've moved in!" Erwin simply smiled and wrapped his arms around you. You closed your eyes, inhaling the unique smell of him- a smell of something warm and comforting and slightly spicy. "Hmmmmm…." You hummed happily into his arms.

Erwin swivelled you around to face him and kissed you, softly at first, deepening into something that hinted at more. A spark rose in your lower stomach and your inner thighs clenched as he traced his fingers along your collarbone, dipping slightly to tickle the curve of your breasts.

Levi's breath caught in his chest, yet his eyes were glued to the horrific scene.

You steered Erwin towards the bed, your eyes burning with lust. "You're beautiful you know?" His words made you blush, no matter how many times he said it. Pulling you into his lap, you wrapped your legs around him, straddling him. His strong fingers unbuttoned your shirt and slid your body free, exposing your skin to the air. "Absolutely beautiful…I feel so proud that everyone knows about us, about the wonderful woman I've been blessed with..."

His words were lost as he planted tiny kisses in the hollow of your neck. Your breathing deepened as his hands skilfully unclipped your bra. His lips closed around one of your nipples, sucking and drawing your skin deeper into his mouth. He cupped the other breast, working your nipple with his fingers.

He was excited too, you could sense it in his breathing, the way his eyes were flashing, the satisfied moans he was making as he feasted on your pinkened flesh.

He released your breast, your nipple rosy and tingling. Seizing you by your waist, you could tell he wanted you badly. "Slow down baby, slow down, I'm not going anywhere." You soothed him softly as you pulled him down to meet your lips. "I'm lucky, so lucky, to have you. I love you so much." His words tickled in your ear, making your heart soar with love and desire.

Levi clenched his eyes tight, unable to look anymore. He heard clothing being removed, he heard whispering…

Silence…

He cautiously opened his eyes again to behold the sight of your naked form on the bed. His eyes drank in your body, the dip of your throat, the soft plumpness of your breasts, your toned stomach and hypnotic hips that sloped down to your pussy. Levi couldn't break away his gaze from your shapely ass, as you turned to Erwin, who quickly removed the last of his clothes. His hands traced up your thighs, gently stroking against your pussy, causing you to catch your breath. _Why...why do I see her NOW, with someone else?_

In despair, Levi shook his head, wishing above all else, that it was he who would make love to you, show his dedication to you by offering his flesh, body and soul to you.

Your skin glowed with happiness, with love, with excitement as Erwin lay next to you, the heat of his bare skin mingling with yours.

Levi turned away, trapped in this hellish nightmare. _No…fuck no…I can't see this, I can't hear this…GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HER!_

Erwin crept down the bed and teased your knees apart. You looked up at him, perfect, toned, scarred, of course, but beautiful. His chest was wide, his shoulders broad. His chest was dusted with blonde strands that darkened into a light brown on his stomach. His treasure trail led down to a most impressive, thick erection, nestled in silky curls.

He knowingly rubbed it against your opening, relishing the feeling of his cock sliding between your moist lips. Your cheeks grew flushed as he leaned down and kissed your pussy, his tongue slipping into your folds and flicking lightly against that tiny pearl of electric flesh.

You gasped as he grazed his teeth against your thigh. "Ah Erwin…who would think the proud Commander could be so filthy?" He chuckled, creating little vibrations that thrilled you. "This is the me that only you know. Though sometimes you make me want to lose control."

He slid up your body, pressing his tip into your clit, making you moan as you felt your flesh grow slick with his pre-cum. "I want to hear you moan like that again. I want to lay claim to you, I want to make love to you like this forever." He slowly, teasingly grinded his cock against you.

"I love you Erwin. Show me. Show me how you'll love me as your wife."Erwin reached down and, using your juices, slid two fingers into you, wiggling them. "You want me to keep doing this? Or do you want me to stop?" He quickly withdrew his digits, leaving you feeling empty. "You fucker, don't tease me!" Your voice cracked in desperation.

Erwin smiled as he filled you with his fingers again, slowly this time, stretching your tender skin. His palm rubbed against your clit as he pumped his hand back and forth. The weight of his his cock lay heavily against your thigh. He was built unusually thick, with balls to match, velvety-soft skin over rigid flesh. His cock head was swelling, glistening with sticky fluid.

You felt yourself growing wetter and juicier, your pleasure spiking, until, with a shudder and a gasp, you came in his hand. "That's what I like to see, you're quite dirty yourself, you know." Erwin removed his slick fingers, placing them in his mouth and sucking them clean. "You taste like more!" He kissed you, your own intimate taste upon your tongue. His faint stubble scratched your skin deliciously.

"I want you inside me baby." Erwin happily obliged, falling upon your body like a wave crashing onto the shore. Pinning your hands above your head, he eased his throbbing cock head into you with care. You moaned softly, relishing that instant he spread your skin wide. Erwin shuddered, forcing himself to go gently, remembering how tight you were. He pulled out and thrust forward again, pushing a little more inside you, your moans driving him wild.

He momentarily lost control, and forced his cock in fully. _"AH! God!"_ you cried out loudly, pleasure on the brink of discomfort. "Sorry, sweetheart, I'm sorry." he whispered, kissing your neck, his blonde hair, loose and in disarray, tickling your cheek.

Your Commander stilled with difficulty, allowing your body time to accommodate him before sliding the rest of his girth into you with a relieved sigh. He seemed impossibly thick, your pussy felt on the point of tearing, but you knew this would pass very soon and give way to immeasurable pleasure.

Your walls tightened, clenching him, locking him deep within you. Erwin began to thrust, forwards and upwards, hitting your sweet spot. He placed his hands under you, on the small of your back, lifting you ass and pushing your hips against him in time with his thrusts.

He was incredible, the two of your bodies working in a rhythm that can only come from familiarity.

He was always a caring, selfless lover, ensuring you reached your peak several times before allowing himself to let go.

Sensing you were close, he quickly pulled out and rolled you over, lifting you onto all fours. He pushed into you hard and fast, brutal thrusts that were almost like stabs, rough and raw, the way he knew you liked it. He circled one hand around your throat, as his other hand gripped your hips for better anchorage. He cracked his hand against your ass, the fleshy snap echoing above the sounds of your lovemaking. Erwin was gasping with each thrust, delighting in your cries.

With each slam of his hips, his hand tightened slightly around your neck, thrilling you, dizzying you with the sudden lack of oxygen. Your rising groans, getting louder and louder, were enough to tell him to help you finish off. He leaned back, shifting himself until he was kneeling, pushing you deeper onto his flesh.

Tangling his hands in your hair, he pulled your head to one side and sank his teeth into your neck, one tooth puncturing your skin ever so slightly. He pounded you mercilessly, his cock buried into you balls-deep, impaling you. He was biting deeper with each motion, viciously sucking and tearing at your neck until- _"AH! ERWIN!"_

In the bathroom, tears ran down Levi's face as he heard you crying out your pleasure. Nothing could compare to the pain of hearing his best friend making love to you. Each cry of delight from you was a knife in Levi's heart. He didn't need to imagine your face as you came- now he knew what it was like. And he knew agony, aware that he could never please you in that way.

With a wild shuddering, you came again, riding out your orgasm and as your body shook and bucked, Erwin's cock speared you deeply. He relaxed his grip, allowing you to lose yourself in your pleasure, your body naturally bobbing on his flesh. Sweat glistened on his body as he urgently tried to control himself to hold on, just a little longer.

Your body was driving him crazy, the slick tightness, the clenching spasms that ran through you. The scent of your release made him dizzy. He was determined to love you more, love you harder than ever before. He loved your cries and moans, loved when he could make you scream. But most of all, he loved the way you said his name at your peak. Your heart fluttered to a calmer beat beneath his hands, as he cupped your breasts.

Kissing your bruised neck, tasting a tiny drop of blood, he leaned over you once more, his body enveloping you. "Are you ok, sweetheart? I wasn't too rough was I?"

Looking over your shoulder at him, his eyes were full of concern. Amazing how he can go from an animal to an angel in a split second. "That...that was amazing. But…I can't get enough of you…"

Reaching back, you ran your nails down his thigh, feeling his cock stiffen again inside you. He closed his eyes and tried to contain the moan that threatened to escape. "I know what you want Erwin. Do your thing."

Reluctantly sliding yourself free from his rock hard flesh, you sat at the edge of the bed, legs spread wide, allowing him to see the juice that existed because of him. He knelt on the floor between your legs, burying his tongue into your juicy pussy. He sucked your clit into a whirling storm of electric feeling, relishing your cries and moans, loving that he could bring you such pleasure, before lifting himself to hold you against him, your skin glistening with sweat.

You spoke softly in his ear- "Fuck me. Fuck me, Erwin. I want you to fuck me, any way you like. Because I love you, more than anything. I want you to fuck me hard."

You gasped in surprise as he roughly scooped you off the bed with an angry growl, forcefully wrapping your legs around his waist.

He lowered you onto his cock, taunting you with the swollen tip before groaning loudly as your body swallowed up his throbbing flesh. He looped his arms around you and thrust upwards, hard and slow, bucking a little harder each time.

He loved it like this, loved to watch your face grow wild with lust, loved to watch your face contort with pleasure he was giving you.

He reached up to your shoulders and pulled you down even further onto him, making you hiss air out between your teeth. You were shaking, already close again with his deliberate movements. "Erwin, more!"

Erwin didn't need any convincing. He practically ran to the wall opposite the bathroom, and pinned you against it.

The rough concrete bit into your skin, marking you with thousands of tiny scratches. Whimpers escaped you without warning as Erwin claimed you.

Your cries rose higher and higher as he slammed into you, a dull thudding echoing around the room as the wall took both your weight. The fleshy sound of two bodies slapping against each other reverberated around the room.

Levi stared through the door crack in absolute horror and awe- he didn't think someone as small as you could take such aggression. _He'll fucking break her, the bastard!_ Over Erwin's muscled shoulder, Levi could see your eyes clenched in pleasure, hear your breath gasping.

Your breasts shook every time Erwin thrust into you, your hands clutched desperately at the Commander's back, leaving deep red scratches in his skin. Your legs were around his waist, your feet digging into his buttocks spurred him on, as you urged him in deeper.

Erwin held your hands tight above your head as he kneaded your buttocks with his free hand, forcing himself into you fully time and time again, feeling your pussy walls strain to accept his swollen cock.

His silky hair clung to his forehead, as his breathing became heavy and panting. You felt the tell-tale tremble in his hips that mean he was at his limit. You loved seeing his eyes fill with that almost desperate lust, loved that split second when Erwin let go and gave himself fully to you.

"Baby…I have to…" His voice was rough, panting, begging your approval. Gasping, you nodded. With a throaty animalistic sound, Erwin emptied himself into you, his scalding hot fluid burning a firework through your entire system. His proud, strong voice carried in the dead air, deep earthy groans that shook with each spasm.

Feeling him indulging in his climax drove you to the edge. Erwin's tongue seeking out yours threw you over as he bit your lip hard- you screamed "ERWIN!" His mouth tried to unsuccessfully swallow your noises as your bodies trembled together.

You were alone in the world, with eyes only for each other. Blinding white circles danced on the edge of your vision as you exploded together. A tremendous heat sparked between you as with a final low moan, Erwin pressed the last of himself into you, holding your body tight to his.

Breathing slowed. Hearts calmed. Erwin gently wrapped his arms around you and, his throbbing cock still buried inside you, lay on the bed, pulling you onto his chest as his flesh slowly relaxed.

Kissing you, he sighed in satisfaction. "I love you, you little minx." Chuckling softly, you ran your fingers along his carved cheekbones, marvelling at the man you would marry.

"I love you too Erwin." Glancing round the room, you rolled your eyes before settling your head on his chest again. "So much for packing!"

Erwin laughed loudly, his voice booming around the room, blue eyes sparkling. "To hell with it. Sleep in my quarters tonight and we'll sort it in the morning. I feel like falling asleep with you _officially_ tonight. I want to wake up with you in my arms without worrying about Hanji or Levi walking in on us."

Savoring the wonderful afterglow of coupling, you felt him slip from you, your mingling fluids dampening your thighs, smelled the musky scent of him. It always reminded you of pennies clutched in a hand for too long, that slightly metallic scent. The scent of him.

You listened to his heartbeat, knowing it as intimately as you knew your own. Tracing your eyebrows, Erwin stirred as his previously turgid flesh finally relaxed. He nuzzled your hair. "Come on sweetheart, let's not give everyone more to gossip about."

You laughed- "Yeah we wouldn't want them thinking their stiff, proper Commander is a kinky old man, would we?" Rolling you off him, Erwin spanked your ass in retaliation, chuckling under his breath. "Hey, less of the old man, huh? Young enough to keep up with you, young whippersnapper!"

Laughing, you grabbed a towel and cleaned yourself up, the sticky pearly liquid still gently escaping your intimate lips. You slipped your lacy black underwear on, eliciting a cough and a "Nice view!" from Erwin.

Throwing his shirt at him, giggling, you quickly got dressed, and tossed him the rest of his clothes, loathe though you were to see that magnificent body covered again, that strong chest and muscled thighs, the firm tight ass and his incredible cock that could impale you violently and also love you so sweetly. Your hips began to ache deliciously, the result of your intense lovemaking.

"Damn Erwin, you uh, really filled me up this time."

Wrapping his arms around you, he rested his chin on your head. "Maybe someday...that'll come in handy."

Reaching up, you placed a hand against his cheek. "Erwin, are you saying what I think you're saying? Are you talking about..."

"A baby? Yes. Someday, if you want. I think you'd be a wonderful mother. It's just a thought. Because I'd like a family with you, someday."

Pulling away, you hugged him tight, thrilled beyond words. You both resumed dressing in comfortable silence, each thinking the same thoughts.

Dressed now, you fixed his hair for him, as he stroked yours. Gazing into his incredible azure eyes, you felt your whole being swell with happiness. "I love you Commander Smith." He kissed his reply.

You left together, hand in hand, the heat and scent of lovemaking clinging to you both.

Within the bathroom, Levi lowered his face into his hands again, nauseated and broken at what he had witnessed. _How can I compare to that? She loves him, loves his touch, loves his skin, loves everything, even the way he fucks her!_

The thought of you pregnant with Erwin's child shook him to his core. Until it had been spoken aloud, he never even knew it was something HE had wanted with you.

Images of a little dark haired boy with your eyes ran through his mind, scenes of the youngster holding Levi's hand, being tossed into the air and caught by his father. A child's voice echoed with laughter in his head- "Daddy!"

The little boy faded before him, a haunting vision of what would never be. No matter whether he told you or not, the life Levi wanted with you, would never happen.

Slamming his fist into the wall, his heart turned to stone. _I'll never tell her. Never. She loves him so passionately, she'll never love me that way._

Choking back a sob Levi silently left your quarters. Mumbling to himself as he walked slowly back to his room- "I'm half the man he is…If I tell her how I feel, she'll feel guilty..I can't hurt her…She will never ever know."

Locking his door, Levi sat in darkness and let his heartbreak loose…


	8. Chapter 8

As you and Erwin slept peacefully entwined around each other, Hanji made her way to Levi's room, well aware that the young man barely slept.

Rapping gently on his door, she let herself in. Levi sat at his desk, papers carelessly thrown across the top. His face was bathed in candlelight, the flickering flame casting dancing shadows across his face.

"Levi? Are you working?" Hanji frantically wondered how to approach this. _How do I say this to him?_

"What do you want Shitty-Glasses, can't you see I'm busy?"

Levi's voice was devoid of emotion. Feeling the weight of his heart in his chest, he couldn't even muster up the energy to be angry.

Sitting on the desk, Hanji looked closely at him. His skin was pale and clammy-looking, faint sweat glistened upon his brow. "Are you ill? You don't look so well. Is something troubling you?"

Scowling, Levi glared at her- "I'm fucking fine, I have work to catch up on. If you're not to going to tell me what you want then kindly fuck off. I've been busy the last hour. Can't you see that?"

He gestured towards the sheet in front of him.

Concern etched its way across Hanji's face. "But…Levi…the page is blank…"

He stared silently at the empty page, the bare face saying everything and nothing.

Without warning, Levi swept the papers to the ground with a vicious growl, smashing the bottle of ink. Spatters of the dark liquid flew everywhere, the candle fell to the floor, extinguishing on the way down.

In shock, Hanji got up and backed away from the desk.

Levi was barely visible in the moonlight that streamed through his window. His voice was hoarse and broken. "Hanji. What do you want? Tell me then go. Please. I am not in the mood tonight."

She approached him in his chair. "I…wanted to know what you thought of the news. About Erwin and-" He cut her off.

"It's wonderful. I hope they will be happy together."

She looked closely at him. His expression remained blank as he recited the words. "You're not annoyed they never mentioned it to you? Because there was good reason, Erwin-" He interrupted her again, holding up a hand this time.

"It's fine. I'm sure they will be very happy together."

Hanji's temper flared at his bland response. "What is wrong with you? They are your closest friends. She looks up to you more than anyone. After everything she has been through, even the crap you put her through, you're not even going to congratulate her?"

Levi silently let her words wash over him.

His mind kept flashing back to your body tangled with Erwin's, your voice crying out Erwin's name. It was burned into his mind's eye. He knew no amount of time would ever cleanse it from memory. The images flashed faster in his head, your skin, your voice, your eyes…

"Hanji…If she wants to risk loving someone then losing them forever, that's up to her. It's a risk I'd never take. It's not practical. As I said, I hope they will be…happy…together."

Hanji stood in shock, infuriated by his reaction. _Why can he not just say it?_

"Levi, are you really that cruel? Are you really going to deny your friends their happiness? Does she mean nothing to you?"

Without warning, Levi flew from his chair in a blind fury, and grabbed Hanji by her throat with such force that she fell backwards onto the desk.

She tried to gasp unsuccessfully as Levi tightened his grip. His eyes were ablaze as his blood boiled with white-hot anger. His lips pulled back in a snarl, exposing his teeth. Hanji shook under his grip, terrified.

She had only ever seen Levi this furious once- when his friends Farlan and Isabel died. _He is very capable of killing me right now._ Her mind, ever scientific, alerted her to that fact.

Levi's free hand thumped onto the desk in time with his words. "You. Have. NO. IDEA. What. She. Means. To. Me. NO FUCKING IDEA!" Hanji managed to loosen his grip enough to choke out a sentence.

"I…have…your…letter…"

The fight vaporised from Levi in an instant. He released his grip in horror as he came to his senses.

Hanji rolled onto her side, wheezing and coughing dryly.

Her eyes swam with tears as she spluttered, desperately trying to flood her lungs with air.

Levi fell to his knees before her, his eyes wide with terror. "Hanji…o god, Hanji, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I'm so...sorry…"

With his anger gone, the young man collapsed into sobs, crying freely like a small child. Now recovered, Hanji sat on the floor beside him, her hand resting on his shoulder.

"It's ok. It's alright. I forgive you. I know, I know what's happening. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. She never told you because she didn't want to upset you- you've made your stance on love pretty clear. It was not hidden from you out of malice or spite- it was out of love for _you_ that she hid it."

His forehead resting on his knees, Levi's voice was muffled.

"I love her. I love her even now. Hanji you don't know what I've seen, you don't know what I feel. I saw them together, I saw…his hands… I saw him…"

Hanji froze in horror, her mind frantically trying to find another explanation for his words, but finding none. "No one should have to go through that, Levi. I don't know how it happened but I'm so sorry."

She pressed a tattered envelope into his hand. "I read it. I'm sorry, I had to. It was dropped in the Hall. There's nothing to be done. You have two choices. Either you cut yourself off from them entirely which would help you heal faster- but it would hurt her.

Or, you can bury it deep inside. Hide it. Carry it silently. And wish her AND Erwin, your congratulations. I'm sorry to say, she has made her choice- but you are her best friend. She needs you. She loves you. You need to make the choice to be there for her or not. I can't do it for you."

"She can never know Hanji. I can't tell her. I don't want her pity."

Hanji's eyes filled with tears. She had never seen Levi so broken, so down. "I won't tell her. I promise."

Squeezing his shoulder, she stood. Placing the candle upon the table, she relit it, the tiny light brightening the room slightly.

"I'm sorry Hanji." His breaths came in shudders as his hand clenched around the letter. "It's ok. Please, get some sleep."

She turned and left, casting one more glance at Levi's form, huddled on the floor amidst his strewn papers.

Alone, in silence, without even looking at the paper, Levi recited his letter aloud, in a voice thick with unshed agony.

 _"_ _I hate feeling like this, I'm so tired of trying to fight this.  
I'm asleep and all I dream of is waking to you.  
Tell me that you will listen. Your touch is what I'm missing, and the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing you.  
I'm comatose.  
I'll never wake up without an overdose of you._

 _I don't want to live, I don't want to breathe unless I feel you next to me.  
You take the pain I feel.  
Waking up to you never felt so real.  
I don't want to sleep, I don't want to dream, because my dreams don't comfort me the way you make me feel.  
Waking up to you never felt so real._

 _I hate living without you, did wrong to ever doubt you.  
But my demons lay in waiting, tempting me away._

 _Oh, how I adore you, how I thirst for you.  
How I need you.  
I love you more than you will ever know. I am flawed, imperfect, I am cold and sometimes cruel.  
But you bring out the best of me. I need you. Please accept me. I love you..." _


	9. CRUCIAL INFORMATION FOR READERS! READ!

IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL READERS-

I WILL BE DELETING THIS ACCOUNT IN APRIL

I WILL BE FOCUSING ON MY AO3 ACCOUNT, WHICH WILL HAVE ALL MY STORIES IN GREATER DETAIL.

I ALREADY HAVE RE-WRITTEN SOME OF THE TASTIER SMUT ON AO3, UNDER MY USERNAME HeichouHatesYou.

LINK CAN BE FOUND BELOW.

I WILL BE ADDING A CHAPTER TO EACH OF MY FICS HERE WITH THIS INFORMATION.

PLEASE CONTINUE TO READ AND COMMENT ON MY WORK ON AO3, AS THIS ACCOUNT HERE WILL SOON BE DELETED.

LINK TO AO3 ACCOUNT- /users/HeichouHatesYou/pseuds/HeichouHatesYou

THANK YOU!


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